In the journey of parenting, the influence parents have over their children’s emotional and psychological well-being is immense. To that end, the Torah provides us with timeless guidance, emphasizing the importance of nurturing a child’s faith and confidence in their abilities and life’s mission.
The Torah described two leaders with contrasting leadership styles—to the point that there is really no comparison between the two—which can be directly applied to parenting. There was Moses, who despite having good reason to fear, kept his concerns to himself rather than instill panic among his followers. On the other side was Balak, king of Moab, who had no real reason to fear, yet chose to share his anxiety with his people.
Imagine a parent who, like Moses, faces challenges with unwavering trust in G‑d. This parent understands that their demeanor and actions significantly affect their child’s outlook. Instead of projecting fear or anxiety, they model calmness and faith. This approach helps create a home environment where children feel secure and confident, even when faced with difficulties. In contrast, a parent who allows fear to dominate, like Balak, will inevitably transmit their anxieties to their children, fostering a sense of insecurity and panic.
Balak had no substantial reason to fear the Jewish people. They posed no real threat to Moab, yet Balak’s unfounded fear took hold of him. Unable to contain his anxiety, he spread this fear among his people, causing unnecessary panic and unrest. This type of leadership—rooted in fear and anxiety—can have devastating effects on a community or family. It undermines collective confidence, sows discord, and leads to irrational decisions.
Balak’s behavior demonstrates how fear, when propagated by a leader or parent, can magnify and spread quickly, creating a culture of anxiety and mistrust. This story underscores the importance of leaders and parents managing their fears and not projecting them onto those they guide.
In stark contrast, Moses faced a genuine threat from King Og but chose to keep his fear private. He understood that as a leader, his attitude would directly influence the morale of the Jewish people. Moses’s response was not to broadcast his fears but to bolster his own inner morale and trust in G‑d. By doing so, he maintained the people’s confidence and ensured their continued faith in their Divine mission. Moses exemplified the principle that by trusting in G‑d’s providence, leaders can inspire and uplift those they lead.
A leader’s confidence can inspire and motivate, while their fear can cripple and demoralize. Moses understood that his role was not just to lead by command but to lead by example. His unwavering trust in G‑d was a source of strength for the entire nation. By fostering a positive and confident outlook, he ensured that the Jewish people remained focused on their purpose and resilient in the face of challenges.
Just as Moses shielded his people from his fears, parents should strive to create a home environment free from unnecessary anxiety and fear. This does not mean shielding children from all challenges but rather teaching them to approach difficulties with trust and confidence in their ability to overcome them.
Parents can take inspiration from Moses by modeling calmness and faith, even in uncertain situations, thereby instilling these values in their children. By reinforcing the belief that they are part of a larger Divine plan, parents can help children develop resilience and optimism. This Torah-based approach to parenting encourages children to face life’s challenges with courage and faith, secure in the knowledge that they are never alone.
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